Some just see my butt. I see muscles that are keeping me safe from killing myself…
Yesterday I did two crazy things: wore tiny booty shorts to pole class (basically underwear) and posted two videos of myself in said booty shorts on Facebook….crazy.
8 months ago when I started poling I was super conscious and sure that I would not be wearing anything scandalous. I mean I am a mom and have given birth….nothing to see here! I think for my first class I showed up with pants and a tee shirt.
I knew I wanted to learn how to pole but I was going to keep as many clothes on as possible! However, that doesn’t work too well on the pole. It is super important that your body sticks or has some grip to the pole otherwise you are in serious trouble. You need a lot of skin exposure to do climbs, hangs, etc. Bottom line, its frustrating and unsafe to pole in a snowsuit.
Over the last few months I have seen and more and more clothes comes off and this is not easy. When I first started taking classes it was super intimidating. The studio where I pole is filled with a lot of different aerial arts (not just pole) and also filled with aerial athletes who are in super great shape.
In my normal everyday world I do not feel insecure about my body but in the pole world I sometimes feel like a huge awkward clown. I think the issue is far larger than pole dancing or being an athlete in the pole world. My problem is that I am a woman and like every other American woman I have been\am objectified. Appearance first before everything…that’s how I was raised and that is the bullshit that every woman feels. I wish and hope there are women in this country that do not feel this. No expectations for the perfect body, hair, makeup, clothes, etc.
Like going to the beach (if you don’t wear a wetsuit), pole dancing is a sport where it all hangs out. You are basically climbing and swinging from a pole in your swimsuit. The other thing about pole dancing is that usually its done in front of a mirror where you can easily judge yourself. So, why am I pole dancing if it is intimidating and makes me insecure about my body?
I am pole dancing because it builds strength and is gloriously fun. In the beginning it was really easy to get caught up in appearances and I still do! But….what I love about pole is that even though I am wearing less clothes I don’t seem to notice it as much. I am more interested in how to do a ballerina sprin or the proper way to grib my hands. I am giving myself permission to wear the clothes that will help me perform and not apologizing if I don’t look like a supermodel doing it.
I am telling the critical voice in my head to fly a kite because this mom booty has some climbing to do. I am not sorry or ashamed of my cellulite. Instead, I am busy building some biceps.